if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
