The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
