So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
