She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
