remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Drunk is not a location!
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
