have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
i believe in u and ur pee
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
