I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Randomize
