He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
