I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
