Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
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