you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
