Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
