take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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