it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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