you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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