Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
