In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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