Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
