last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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