I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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