Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
