its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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