The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
