Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
