just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
