Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
