I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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