who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
