Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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