I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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