his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
nutella sex= disaster
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
