Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
