So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
