There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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