he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
