my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
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