I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
