Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
MIDGETS
????
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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