we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
