There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
