It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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