She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
