she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
