Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
