i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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