do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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