found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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