I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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