i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
