i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
