I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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