what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
